Hide and Seek
by Jonesy219
Summary: Tom never got the chance to tell Jude that he loved her before she was ripped away from him...he'd never believed in second chances before, but something told him that this was it.
1. Author's Note

I'm ashamed to say this, but it has taken **seven years** for me to come back to this story. The inspiration hit me like a lightening bolt back when I began and I thought I could finish it, but writer's block overcame me and soon the very real dramas in my own life took over. All the while this story sat on the back burner just waiting to be completed...

Finally, I re-watched all four seasons of Instant Star and before I knew it I was back on track to get this baby going! I'll do my best to give it the attention it deserves, although I'm not even sure that anyone will read it...I just need to get it out of my head. I'm sure that feedback and reviews can only fuel my imagination, and lord knows I need all the encouragement I can get; I've got a 10-month old who isn't afraid to monopolize every second of my attention!

If you were reading this seven years ago and came back for more...bless your heart. I love you more than words can say and I'm excited for the adventure we're about to embark on. I had to throw a couple of chapters out and start fresh, but I hope you're still with me.

So...here we go!


	2. Prologue

Tom sat slumped against his kitchen cabinets, his legs sprawled out on the cold tile floor and an almost empty bottle of Jack Daniels tucked against his side. The ceiling plaster created swirls and patterns, and he followed them with his eyes until the lines and shapes blurred together into an indiscernible soup of tears and intoxication.

Three hundred and sixty-five days.

One year.

Months of complete and utter denial while keeping up the search, countless days of the deepest possible depression, and the past few weeks steeped in a numb haze of nothingness. Everything that he saw was blackened around the edges, and the light became harsh and cruel to his eyes. He kept the curtains shut all the time now, his pain easing just the slightest bit when he was immersed in darkness. Voices were too loud for his ears to handle, so he locked himself in his apartment most of the time. Food felt foreign and bitter in his mouth, and soon he couldn't stomach anything at all. The only substance that had passed through his lips was alcohol, strong enough to burn his throat and soften the sharp pain of loss. There wasn't enough alcohol in the city of Toronto that could erase his pain, but he'd be damned if he wasn't going to try.

His apartment was a disaster area, papers strewn about on the hardwood floors and furniture upturned. Broken glass and the remnants of every lamp in the place littered the floor as well, making the walk to the front door a perilous journey. The phone had long been disconnected, the nonstop ringing driving him insane until he finally ripped the cord from its socket and smashed it against the wall. Tom didn't care; he didn't care about any of it. He ignored the persistent knocking against his front door that had begun to reverberate through the air, taking another swig from the bottle at his side. The dark brown liquid stung his throat, but had ceased to warm his insides. He'd grown cold again, and it had nothing to do with the temperature.

The knocking finally stopped, only to be replaced with the click of a lock being turned. The door opened slowly, and footsteps clicked against the floor. Tommy closed his eyes, wishing fervently for them to go away. _Please, just leave me alone to die._

Tom heard Sadie's gasp as she stepped into his living room, joined by Kwest's low swearing. He'd known that they would come for him eventually once he'd stopped answering the phone, but he didn't think it would be so soon...or was it? It had been at least a week since he had locked himself away from the rest of the world, but time was easy to lose track of when you weren't looking forward to the minutes, hours, and days that loomed ahead.

"Tommy? Tommy...oh my god!" Sadie cried as she walked into the kitchen. Her eyes teared up as she took in his dirty, disheveled appearance. He hadn't showered in god knew how long and his wild, neglected hair hung limply in his face. Blood had dried on his hands and arms where the shattered glass had cut him, and even from four feet away she could smell the alcohol on his breath. Kwest stepped past her, crouching down to take the bottle from his clenched fingers. Tom's eyes opened blearily, lighting up with anger.

"Leave me alone, man," he growled, holding the bottle tighter. Kwest reached for it again, and Tom didn't even think before throwing his fist out. It connected with Kwest's chest with a solid 'thunk', knocking him flat on his ass and forcing a grunt from his throat. Tommy lunged forward and continued to pummel him, driving his fist weakly into flesh again and again until the tears started to burn his eyes and the sobs rose up from deep within his throat. He let them come unhindered, shoulders shaking uncontrollably with the force of his cries. He felt Sadie take his fists in her small hands, pulling him away from Kwest with barely any effort at all. Her warm arms encircled him, and Tom buried his head into her sweater and finally let the emotions that he'd been trying to bury rise violently to the surface. "Oh god, oh god...she's gone! She's gone!"

Sadie let Tommy cry, rocking him back and forth slowly. She looked up at Kwest as silent tears ran down her own cheeks, and he shifted towards the pair and interlocked his fingers with hers. They sat there together on Tom's kitchen floor, letting the grief and pain wash over them.

Jude was gone, and there was nothing they could do to bring her back.


	3. Chapter 1

**A/N** – This story begins right around episode 3 of season 4, "Changes." In a minute you'll see that things are tweaked just the slightest, but I just wanted to add that Jude and Tommy haven't slept together yet. Thanks for reading, and please review!

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**A LITTLE OVER A YEAR AGO**

Jude tuned her guitar for the third time that morning, foolishly hoping that even the slightest wisp of a lyric would surface in her brain. Inspiration had been hard to come by lately, although the multiplying dramas in her life usually served as great songwriting material; the combination of her life spiraling into confusion yet somehow standing still seemed to cancel out any creative benefits she would normally receive from such a deep well of material. Long hours spent dividing her time between high school and G-Major for the past three years had finally come to an end once she had graduated from high school by the skin of her teeth several months ago, and now that G-Major was closed indefinitely for the investigation into Darius' finance handling she was finding it hard to plan out her next move.

_I never thought I'd say this, but I think I actually miss having Darius dictate my every move._She snorted indelicately at the very thought, strumming a few chords on her beat-up guitar, right before she realized that she actually meant it. Her life had been a nonstop, action-packed rollercoaster for the past three years and if there was one thing that was her saving grace it was the fact that it was usually someone else's job to schedule her life. Victoria had done most of the daily planning before Instant Star had whisked Jude into the limelight, and once G-Major had stepped in as the dictator of Jude's schedule she began to make herself scarce. Jude hadn't expected Victoria to accomplish that by marrying her divorce lawyer and running away to Europe, but she supposed that it was inevitable. Sadie had told her what Victoria had said about wanting to be more than just someone's mom for a change and in retrospect it seemed as if her sudden absence wasn't so surprising. _That doesn't make it hurt less_, Jude admitted internally with a sigh. Stuart was the next logical choice in the chain of command, but after the fallout of the divorce and his breakup with Yvonne he had decided to take an extended vacation traveling through Europe and Asia and left a few weeks ago.

"Okay, that's enough moping Harrison," she mumbled. Going down that road in her mind only led to stewing over the lonely turn her life had taken and that certainly wasn't going to help. _Talking to myself isn't going to help either!_ Jude reached into her jeans pocket and dug out her phone, dialing Sadie's number. Hopefully she would pick up and Jude could talk to another human being for a change...although by the sixth ring it wasn't looking too promising. Tossing her cell to the side, she got off the couch and headed into the bathroom. She barely recognized the girl looking back at her in the mirror; dark circles had formed under her eyes from lack of sleep and the dim light in her blue eyes made her face look dull and drawn. The fire had gone out of her eyes, and it wasn't a stretch to say that she was a shadow of her former self. Not working clearly wasn't doing her any favors, but with her musical career in limbo what else could she do? She had tried again and again to sign with another record label, but every time she sat down in one of their offices she could immediately tell that they weren't exactly happy to see her. She had her suspicions as to why; chief among them the idea that Darius' reputation for ruthless business tactics and a penchant for taking down companies with protracted legal battles had them scared away from signing his top artist, even though there was a very real possibility that he wouldn't be back on the music scene for a very long time. Whatever the reason it ensured that Jude was "living la vida normal," as Shay once referred to it. At the time she couldn't figure out why the idea was so repugnant to Shay, but after months of nothing but daytime TV, chores, and aimlessly strumming her guitar she could definitely understand his distaste.

Sadie had gotten a new job as an executive assistant to some PR firm in downtown Toronto and as a result Jude hadn't seen her in weeks. Add that to the fact that she had moved into Kwest's flat a few days after Stuart had left and you basically left Jude with no family at all. _And here I thought no Harrison family drama would be a good thing_, she ruminated. _I've been wrong before._ Despite the fact that they still lived in the same city she hardly saw Sadie at all, and though the two had their squabbles Jude had to admit that she missed having her big sister around to talk to. It wasn't like Jamie was an option anymore, now that she had chosen to be with Tommy.

_Tommy_. A smile crept across Jude's face as she pictured his sexy grin and piercing eyes, making the girl reflected in the mirror a little more familiar. Tommy had more or less swooped in and saved the day as far as Jude was concerned; seeing her all alone in the Harrison house hadn't sat well with him after all the drama with Hunter last year, and he moved her into his apartment shortly after Sadie left. It was a strange feeling, being so close to the ex-boybander after several years of pining from afar; she glanced at the bathroom counter and took in the sight of the numerous hair products neatly lined up on his side. _It's not so different from sharing a bathroom with Sadie_, she mused with a grin. Their relationship was just a few months old, but Tommy had taken a bold step forward by inviting her into his home. Who'd have thought that he would have it in him? It was all cuddling and dinners by candlelight the moment they got together, which more than made up for the time they had spent fighting their attraction for one another over the past three years. Of course, things were different now...Tommy had been forced to look for work after G-Major shuttered its doors and right now he was practically chained to his desk at the new recording studio he worked for. Blackwater records recognized the name Thomas Quincy the minute he walked through the door but didn't want to give him a producer spot without putting him though the paces first, and as a result Jude hadn't seen him for more than an hour a day for the past four months. Jude's rational brain knew that all of Tommy's hard work was for a good reason, but her crazy, lonely side had a hard time processing that out of the five months that they had been together she had spent a total of one month with him before Blackwater snatched him away. If the couple hadn't been playing back-and-forth for the past three years it wouldn't be such a big deal for them to spend this time apart, but since they hadn't logged much couple time together it definitely wore on her nerves. It didn't help that not only were two of Tommy's new artists female but one of those two was hellbent on having him as her own. _Bitch._

Okay! Time to do something! Jude unclenched her fists and took a deep breath before briefly checking her makeup in the mirror. She'd go down to the studio and surprise Tommy with a visit, and then maybe steal him away for dinner. It would be the first time she saw him in about thirty-six hours, so hopefully she could convince him to slip out of the studio for a little while. She practically ran out the bathroom at the prospect, throwing on a worn leather jacket and grinning in anticipation of their meeting. She grabbed her phone off the couch and swiped her keys off of the peg by the door, hoping that tonight was the first time in a while that she would go to sleep with a smile on her face.


	4. Chapter 2

Tommy pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers and sighed, closing his eyes and groaning internally. "Lexi, I thought we talked about this already!" She grinned in the sound booth.

"I know we did, Tom," she cooed breathily, "but I think it sounds _so_ much sexier when I sing it closer to the mic." Lexi flipped her shiny chestnut hair over her shoulder and gave Tommy a pout, hoping that he'd shoot her one of his famous smoldering grins. She was disappointed.

"If you've got your mouth wrapped around the mic it compromises the quality of your vocals, Lexi. We've been over this a million times," Tommy replied with a stony countenance. He was fully aware that Lexi had a thing for him; she had practically purred when they met for the first time and then immediately told him all about how she had fantasized about him as a teenage fan of Boyz Attack. Normally he'd take the bait and have a little fun with her before moving on, but Tommy had definitely matured past the point of adding another name to his already prolific list of lays...he was also a one-woman man nowadays. A knock sounded at that exact moment, and before he turned to see the source of the noise he could see the annoyance painted all over Lexi's features. _That can only mean one thing..._

Jude stood at the door, smiling shyly at him in a way that made his thoughts turn to something he probably shouldn't have been dwelling on in his place of business. He stabbed a finger at the intercom button, telling his artist to take a ten, all without tearing his eyes away from his girlfriend. _I'll get you eventually Tom, _Lexi thought with a scowl. How much more obvious could she be? She'd made sure to wear a low-cut top every day they recorded together, along with her best pair of painted-on jeans, and continually dropped some not-so-subtle hints here and there about how much she wanted him. She made sure to keep eye contact with him when she sang her sexiest songs, purring into the mic and batting her long lashes, and yet somehow it never seemed to affect him. There was Jude, sure, but Lexi knew a girl like that couldn't keep a man like Little Tommy Q occupied for too long. She must have been amazing in bed or something, because Lexi had seen her around the building once or twice and immediately judged Jude to be pretty but not nearly as hot as she was, which begged the question: what in the hell did she have that kept Tommy's attention riveted on her every time she walked into the room? _Whatever. _She slipped off of her stool and went to find something to eat in the kitchen, hoping that Jude would get lost soon so that she could get Tommy to herself again.

"Hey girl," Tommy greeted with a purr, pulling Jude in for a kiss.

"Mmmm...god I miss you, Tom," Jude whispered, touching her forehead to his. "I feel like we haven't seen each other in weeks. Do you even remember where you live?"

Tommy sighed and leaned against the doorjamb. "I think you feel that way because we _haven't_ seen each other in weeks. You know I'd be at home if I could, Jude. They've got me stretched pretty thin here." He gently tucked a strand of her blond hair behind her ear and she almost moaned out loud at the contact.

"I know, I know...that doesn't mean I have to like it. How much longer is it going to be like this?"

"I'm almost done laying down vocals on Lexi's album," he started, ticking off fingers as he continued, "we have to finish two more songs on Victor's, and then three of Laura's tracks need to be completely re-done." Jude started to worry her bottom lip, knowing that the long list of things Tommy needed to do added up to at _least_ another two weeks of nonstop studio time.

"So what you're telling me is that I'm not going to see you again for a while."

"I guess so," he admitted, pulling Jude in against his chest and murmuring into her hair. "Just be patient with me, girl. It'll all be over soon, I promise." He heard Jude sigh into his shirt, her shoulders slumping, and waited for her rejoinder.

"Could you sneak away, just for tonight? We could do some dinner, Chinese maybe, and just...be around each other for more than five minutes at a time. Please?" she pleaded.

Tommy took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of her strawberry shampoo. "You know I can't do that Jude. The sooner I wrap things up here, the sooner I can come home." He felt Jude's small hands push against his chest and released her, saddening at the loss of warmth. She opened her mouth to say something to him, her eyes shining with a hint of wetness, when they were suddenly interrupted by the sound booth door flinging open. Lexi stood in the doorway, hands on her hips, disgust painted on her lips like the crimson gloss she regularly used.

"Can we get back to work please?" she drawled, giving Jude a cursory glance. _Nope. No competition there._ She settled her eyes on Tommy, sending him a sexy grin. "Some of us actually have jobs to do."

Jude's temper flared at the obvious dig at her current lack of employment, but Tommy took her forearm in his hands and stilled her. "Go set yourself up, we'll start in a minute," he said in a voice tinged with more than a little anger. Lexi rolled her eyes and stalked out, taking care to bump into Jude on the way out. Jude wrested her arm from Tommy's grasp.

"That little b-"

"Hey, you kiss your boyfriend with that mouth?" Tommy chuckled, a grin curling the edges of his mouth. "Oh right, that would be me..." he murmured, ducking down to brush a slow, gentle kiss on her full lips. "Don't worry. I'll be home soon, ok?"

"Alright," Jude reluctantly answered. She left the sound booth quietly, turning once the door was closed to see Tommy slipping on his headphones and checking the levels. The sight was so familiar to her; the late nights they used to spend going over her music again and again until the sound was just right. Those long nights started a bond that only strengthened over time, and Jude felt a twinge of sadness when she realized that it wasn't likely that they'd be producing together again anytime soon. _It's fine. I'll just have to find other ways for us to keep close_, she thought hopefully. She turned on a booted heel and headed towards the door, her spirits renewed by a plan that was quickly forming in her head.


	5. Chapter 3

The key slid slowly into the lock as Tommy grasped the brushed nickel doorknob in his hand. He sent a silent prayer to whoever was up there that he could slip into bed quietly; it had been a long night, a _very_ long couple of weeks and so far, an extremely long life. It seemed as if the onslaught of work never stopped and although Tommy knew what he was getting into once he signed the contract at InTone records, it was starting to feel like a little too much. Especially since the one thing he wanted to do he could never find time for..._Great choice of words, Quincy._

Jude. About five minutes after she had made an awkward first appearance into his life he knew that she and she alone had the power to drive him completely crazy; be it from anger, frustration, lust, or..._love._ Yeah, he could say it now. After three years of back-and-forth the timing had finally been right for Tommy and Jude, at least once Tommy had stopped self-sabotaging. It took a lot of restraint not to screw things up the past five months or so, and he had to say he was pretty proud of himself. _I guess you aren't a total waste of __space__, _he thought with a smirk.

Tommy briefly noticed that the key was unnecessary; the door was, for the hundredth time, unlocked. He had lectured Jude a couple of times about her carelessness, knowing full well that when she was caught up in her thoughts she had a tendency to forget the more important details back on planet Earth. _She's lucky we live in a good neighborhood_, he thought to himself. He turned the knob slowly and slipped into the doorway, shutting the door behind him with a gentle push. The apartment was pitch black, a fact that didn't come as a surprise to him. It was around three in the morning, which typically meant that Jude would be fast asleep already. A slow smile crept across Tommy's face as he remembered the last few times he had come home; Jude lay sprawled on their bed, locks of blonde hair strewn over both of their pillows, her full-lipped mouth parted slightly as she snored lightly. He had stood in the doorway for five whole minutes just watching her sleep, seriously contemplating...waking her up. Slowly. Lasciviously. If it weren't for the fact that he had been at work twenty-four seven the past few months he probably wouldn't have been so hesitant; he and Jude actually hadn't had sex at all, crazy as it sounded. With the end of his insane workload a few weeks away he couldn't help but hope that they could finally check that off of their to-do list. _Literally and figuratively_, Tom thought with a lewd grin.

He took a step forward, peeling the worn leather jacket off of his shoulders and thinking of the small blonde waiting in his bed, when a loud crunch sounded beneath his shoes. His first thought was _Shit! That's definitely going to wake Jude!_ A split second later, his thoughts turned to why there would be a loud crunch at all. Tommy's brow furrowed. _What the-  
_

He flicked the lights on, turning to check out the source of the noise, and stopped dead in his tracks.

There were shards of broken glass scattered on the concrete floors of his flat, probably from the vase Jude insisted on placing on the hallway's small table. The bright yellow Gerbera daisies she had picked up at the farmer's market last week were trampled among the wreckage, water soaking into the living room rug. Her keys lay on the ground less than a foot away, along with some dark spots that looked suspiciously like-

_Blood._ Tommy's heart stopped for what he could have sworn was a full minute, his vision narrowing until all he could see was the spattering of red on the floor. A stool was knocked over by the kitchen counter, but other than that everything else seemed to be in place. Except the blood, which formed an erratic trail towards the bedroom.

Tommy broke his stunned trance in a millisecond, running towards their room at what he was sure was the fastest he had ever moved in his life. Despite the fact that he had only stepped into the apartment no more than two minutes ago, time seemed to stretch on forever, his feet taking a century to carry him to their bedroom. His hand finally grasped the edge of the doorjamb, coming to rest just above a large smear of dark red on the wood.

The room was in complete disarray, pictures knocked off of the walls and more smears of red replacing them. A lamp lay broken on the floor, the lightbulb somehow still intact and flickering weakly. Their bed was practically stripped, sheets laying twisted on the floor and streaked with more red, the sheets that Jude had-

_Jude._ Tommy thought numbly, the roaring in his ears coming to an abrupt halt. _JUDE. _Tommy stumbled back down the hallway and into the living room, his vision growing dark around the edges and a roiling beginning deep in his stomach. He finally reached the phone, picking it up and staring at the numbers as if they were written in Japanese kanji. As he raised his other hand to begin dialing his throat clenched and he immediately turned to the side and heaved the contents of his stomach onto the floor, sparse though they were. He wiped his mouth, hand shaking ever so slightly, and dialed.


End file.
